


Language Barriers

by guiltipanda



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: A Hook-up Turns Into Something Else, Alternate Universe - Human, German, Hook-Up, Language Kink, M/M, Phone Sex, Prumano - Freeform, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:29:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guiltipanda/pseuds/guiltipanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Alternate Title: I Don't Speak German, But I Can If You Like.)</p><p>“When I said fuck you I didn’t mean I WANT TO fuck you.”</p><p>In which Lovino tries to get a girl to come home with him and ends up taking a German guy who can barely speak Italian home instead. What was supposed to be just a one-night stand turns into something he didn't expect. Still not that much plot to speak of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahahaha, I’m so bad at writing porn. I apologize in advance.

Work had been hell all week. Most of Lovino's time had been spent training new hires on the floor, which was the absolute least favorite part of his job. Now that it was Friday, all he wanted to do was drink and release some tension with a stranger whose name and face he wouldn’t have to remember, but he was seriously off his game. He’d gotten shot down three times already. His frustration mounting, he returned to the corner of the bar to nurse a Campari and his hurt pride. It was already after nine o’clock, so most people had filtered out of the building and things had become quiet. He was beginning to consider going home as well and deferring to some raunchy porn and his own hand. He certainly didn’t want to stay too late, sitting alone, still in his work suit, looking like a loser or a drunk, but the stubborn side of him held out hope that, somehow, this night might turn around.

That hope was shattered when someone who was not a pretty girl, but rather a tall, muscular man in a striped shirt and khakis came up and stood beside him at the bar, walling him off from the rest of the room. No girl would even be able to see him behind this asshole, if there were any girls left. He glared at the man out of the corner of his eye and focused on emanating his most hostile aura to signal for him to go away, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was staring at the glass in Lovino’s hand.   

“What are you drinking?” he asked with terrible pronunciation and a distinctly German accent. Looking at him more closely, of course he would be German, with his white-as-snow blond hair and his pale skin. 

Lovino swirled the dark amber liquid around in the glass. “Are you wanting to try the drink or are you wanting to buy me another?”

“Zi,” the man said with a broad smile, and Lovino figured that was supposed to be a yes, though that didn’t really answer anything. “What is your drink?”

He had to smirk. It was plain funny how bad this guy was. If he had been in a better mood, he might have tried to mess with him a little, but instead he decided to let him off easy.

“Not interested,” he said, waving him away.

He put his hand to his ear as if he couldn’t hear him. “Sorry. My Italian is not good.”

“No shit.” He sounded like a fork in a garbage disposal. Lovino spoke more slowly so that he could understand. “Look, I’m not up for conversation. And even if I was, I wouldn’t want to talk to you, because you can hardly get an intelligible sentence out. So, beat it.”

He stood there, eyes glossing over as he tried to absorb everything that Lovino had said. He didn’t respond, and Lovino sighed inwardly. He had no patience for tourists, especially ones who couldn’t even speak the language of the country they were visiting well enough to get around.

This guy still wasn’t leaving yet. He was struggling with words to say back, so it was up to Lovino to make this ordeal go by quicker. “Do you speak English?”

He only knew a few select phrases in German, so there was no point in even attempting to communicate in the man’s native language, but Lovino could speak decent English.

He thought for a moment, and then said, “A little.”

“Yes or no?”

“A little,” he affirmed.

 “Alright, I’ll say this in English,” Lovino said, switching languages with ease. He locked with the other man’s dark ruby eyes so that he would know how serious he was. “Fuck you and go away.”

The German staggered and turned bright pink. Well, if he got embarrassed about a little crass language, he wouldn’t have enjoyed conversation with Lovino anyway. He stared with a concentrated look, and then he turned away and went to sit at a table in the middle of the bar next to a lovely brunette. Dammit, if Lovino had seen her earlier he would have tried to ask the guy to introduce him.

Lovino stole the occasional glance towards their table as the two leaned in and spoke intimately to each other, and for a disappointing moment Lovino thought that she was his girlfriend. Something that he said to her made her turn to look in Lovino’s direction. Taking whatever chance he might have, Lovino smiled and waved to her. She returned to talking to the guy, more animated this time, and Lovino wanted to assume that that was a good sign. It was hard to tell if she was turning red from anger or from a more positive emotion. And Lovino couldn’t understand what she was saying, because, of course, they were speaking in fucking German.

She pushed the guy up from his chair, directing him back to Lovino, who was momentarily confused as to why it was him and not the girl headed in his direction. Then he realized that she had not been excited for her own sake, she had been encouraging her friend to try to talk to Lovino again. And he was actually going to do it.

Jesus, this guy couldn’t just not take a hint, he wouldn’t have understood a fucking brick smashing his face in. He plopped down on the stool next to Lovino with that infuriating grin and asked, “Where do you live?”

Lovino reeled back from him. “That’s pretty fucking forward, don’t you think?”

“My hotel…it…is near,” he offered, his eyes darting around the room as if searching for the words he wanted to say on the wallpaper.

“Good for you?” The man kept staring at him expectantly, but Lovino wasn’t sure why. He seemed to understand English better than Italian—it had gotten him to leave, anyway, however briefly. Lovino switched back to English and demanded, “The fuck do you want?”

“Zi.”

“What?”

“Yes.”

It came to Lovino’s attention quite suddenly that when this guy had said he understood a little English he might have been exaggerating. He probably understood English about as well as Lovino understood German, meaning he could recognize the dirty words and a few greetings and pick-up lines. This guy had heard the word  _fuck_  and had ignored everything else. Lovino wasn’t sure whether he wanted to laugh at the misunderstanding or throw his drink in the guy’s face for being so presumptuous. A strange choking sound broke from the back of his throat as he explained, “When I said fuck you I didn’t mean  _I want_   _to_  fuck you.”

“Could you speak more slowly?” he asked in Italian.

Trying to tell this guy to hit the road was beginning to give Lovino a migraine. He leaned on his elbows against the bar and looked the man up and down. While he preferred to sleep with women, he wasn’t against sleeping with men every so often. Pale and burly wasn’t really his type, but at the same time he could really use a good hard fuck, and this guy seemed like someone who would be rough with him.

Lovino’s eyes rested on the guy’s hands, placed on top of the bar, and imagined the way they would bruise his skin gripping him. Fingertips digging into his hips. That strong, hard body pinning him down and ramming into him.

He swallowed a lump. His skin was already growing hot. Damn. He really did need to get laid.

On the bright side, the sex wouldn’t involve much talking.  

“Alright, fine,” he said. He dropped the necessary cash to pay for his drinks on the bar and pushed his stool back. “Let’s go.”

The German communicated something to his friend before they left, and soon they were walking down the street to a nearby taxi stand. There were a couple of empty cabs still parked there, and they claimed one to take them to Lovino’s apartment. Lovino didn’t want to wake up after a night of rough sex in his one-night-stand’s hotel room and have to either stay more than the comfortable length of time to take a shower and all that, or worse, have to sneak out. He would rather that dilemma fall on someone else.

In the back of the cab, the German scooted close to Lovino and brought his hand to brush against his thigh. Lovino shivered at the touch but knocked the hand away. “ _Wait_ ,” he mouthed to appease the disappointed expression on the other man’s face. He preferred not to incur the wrath of their more than likely Catholic driver for getting frisky in his taxi. The German nodded and sat back.

“My name is Gilbert,” he said

Lovino chuckled. “I don’t really care what your name is, but okay.” He could play along. “I’m Lovino.”

The conversation lulled. It wasn’t that far to Lovino’s apartment, so the silence was bearable. They were pulling up outside his building within a few minutes. Lovino paid the driver in exact change and took Gilbert up to the third floor. Lovino had tidied up in advance, so the apartment was perfectly clean. He’d left the light over the stove top in the kitchen on, so they had enough light to see by without it being too bright.

Gilbert surveyed the living area and whistled. “Du hast einen guten Platz.”

Lovino took off his suit jacket and draped it carefully over the chair. “I don’t speak German.”

Realization crossed Gilbert’s face. He must not have been in Italy very long if he could forget which language he was supposed to be using. _Trying_ to use. He should have prepared more before trying to tour through a foreign country.

“What are you doing in Italy?”

“My brother…Ludwig…he has a, er…”

“Never mind,” Lovino cut him off. It sounded like it was going to take a while for him to be able to explain, and he’d rather not waste time on that.

He loosened his tie and sauntered over to Gilbert till they were just inches apart. Gilbert’s hands took no time to find their place around Lovino’s waist. Lovino pulled him in closer, delighting in the heat radiating between them and the firmness of Gilbert’s chest underneath his shirt.

What little German Lovino knew he'd learned in case he met a pretty German girl he wanted to impress. Gilbert wasn’t a pretty German girl, but Lovino could still impress. He met those piercing red eyes, wetted his lips in preparation, and said, “Küss mich.”

He hated the sound of the words as he forced himself to eject them, but Gilbert’s eyes lit up as he immediately understood the command.  _Kiss me_.

Gilbert pressed his lips against Lovino’s without hesitation. His kiss was rough and sloppy, and maybe it was the alcohol getting to Lovino, or his desperation, but he didn’t really care. He gripped Gilbert by his shoulders, pushed his tongue past his teeth, and scoured the inside of his hot mouth. Gilbert jutted his hips forward, directing a pleasant thrill to Lovino’s cock. His hands glided passed his hips with feather-light touches, down to his ass to squeeze him. Lovino whimpered. “Bedroom.”

Not pausing to check whether Gilbert understood, he led him by the hand through the living room to the back of the apartment, into his room. He sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes and socks, and Gilbert got on the floor in front of him. His fingers dipped into the front of Lovino’s pants, unfastened them, then slipped inside to pull out his cock.

“You gonna suck me off?”

Gilbert answered with a determined smirk. He wrapped his lips around the head eagerly and enveloped Lovino in the wet heat of his mouth. A soft moan escaped Lovino as Gilbert twirled his tongue around him. Those red eyes flashed with amusement.

He watched Lovino as he swallowed his length. The intensity of his stare sent a rush of excitement washing over Lovino and pooling in his groin. He grasped Lovino’s hips firmly to pull them forward, closer to the edge of the bed. Lovino’s fingers tangled in his messy hair, clutching at small fistfuls as that tongue teased him mercilessly.

Lovino gasped when Gilbert buried his face against his crotch and he was so deep in his mouth he could feel the tip prodding at the back of his throat. “Oh god, oh god…”

It had been a long time since he felt this good. He was close to coming, but before he could Gilbert pulled back with a raised eyebrow and a grin. “So,” he said in such a fashion that Lovino couldn’t tell if he was trying to speak Italian, German, or English. It sounded taunting.

“Don’t be an ass about it, just hurry up and fuck me.”

As Gilbert wriggled out of his shirt, he asked, “Hast du Schmiermittel?”

“I already told you, I don’t speak German.”

Trying to translate in his head while dealing with his arousal was apparently very frustrating for Gilbert. His mouth turned down into a scowl as he struggled with the words. “Ah…  _Scheiße_ , er…Kondom?”

Oh, right, condoms.

He continued to undress while Lovino fetched lube and a condom from the nightstand. After all their clothes had been set aside, they got back into bed. Lovino stared at Gilbert’s not unimpressive cock, standing on its own as he knelt. He twitched with the anticipation of having it inside him.

Gilbert pressed his lips to his chest, kissing him, trailing his calloused fingers down his abdomen until they were wrapping around his cock and slowly stroking him. Impatiently, Lovino shoved the lube and condom into his hand to signify what he wanted. He seemed to get the message. He squeezed lube onto his fingers and pressed them against Lovino’s tight sphincter. He twisted and hooked them inside, working in plenty of the sticky gel. Lovino panted as Gilbert's slick fingers moved vigorously in and out of him. He kissed Gilbert's face and neck, biting occasionally at the skin to provoke him, until Gilbert had had enough. He took his own cock, sheathed in the condom, and aimed it at Lovino's entrance.

Lovino let out a small cry as he was pushed up on the bed with the force of Gilbert’s thrust. Gilbert hoisted Lovino’s legs onto his shoulders and buried deep inside him. He leaned over Lovino, stretching the back of his shaking thighs as his knees pressed to his chest. Lovino pushed against the headboard to avoid hitting the crown of his skull against it as Gilbert began fucking him harder.

“Gott,” Gilbert breathed. “Du fühlst dich gut an.”

Lovino had never cared much for the German language, but the harshness of it in the heat of this moment caused an unexpected shudder to ripple through his body. The mattress rocked and creaked underneath them as Gilbert slammed into his ass. Their moans were resounding in the thick, heavy air between them. Gilbert’s nails sank into the flesh of his thighs as he pulled him into each snap of his hips, but  _god_  did it feel good.

“Fuck,” he said, biting back a sob. “Yes...more...”

Gilbert could understand that much, and he pounded him with greater speed and intensity. Sweat dripped from Lovino’s skin and collected in the flex of his muscles. He tightened around the slick, throbbing shaft inside him.

“Ooh,” he moaned, on the verge of orgasm. Before he could finish, Gilbert pulled back. “Ooh, you son of a—"

Gilbert kissed him with an open mouth. Lovino didn’t bother fighting it, even if he was frustrated with Gilbert for not letting him come. He was kissing deeper and deeper, and with that fat tongue plunging into his mouth, there was the profound satisfaction of being filled at both ends.

“A little more,” Gilbert said. “So sehe ich Dich gerne.”

It wasn’t that much longer after Gilbert started up again that Lovino went over the edge. His stomach coiled tightly, and the tension burst from between his legs, and he screamed as Gilbert kept driving into him until they were both completely done. Gilbert sighed with heavenly exhaustion and rolled over to the side of the bed, his arm slung over Lovino's chest. Their racing pulses quieted.  

“You are beautiful,” Gilbert said in thoroughly mangled Italian.

“You’re better when you don’t talk,” Lovino replied.

He didn't know if Gilbert understood. He was too sated to put any malice into the words. Gilbert nuzzled into the pillow with a blissful expression that was damn near cute, and Lovino took a moment to just look at that face before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this nonsense in an attempt to distract myself as I wait for my beta reader to finish with the latest chapter of one of my other stories. Maybe I’ll continue this one day? But I have so much else to do, so this is it for now. 
> 
> Some of these translations are explained or obvious, but I’ll make note of them anyway.
> 
> Zi- Germans tend to pronounce s as z when it comes before a vowel. Gilbert is mispronouncing “Si”.  
> Du hast einen guten Platz. – You have a nice place.  
> Küss mich.- Kiss me.  
> So- Gilbert is speaking German here. It’s a shortened form of a longer phrase. Basically it translates to: You like? But “so” could also be Italian for “I know.” (As a shortened form of “lo so”—I think. I’m not actually certain people say this.) Or it could be English for, well, so.  
> Hast du Schmiermittel?- Do you have lubricant?  
> Scheiße- Shit  
> Kondom?- Condom?  
> Gott…Du fühlst dich gut an- God…you feel so good.  
> So sehe ich Dich gerne- I like seeing you this way


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After two freaking years, I finally decided to continue this story.
> 
> This is going to be a lot like what Love Rats was supposed to be, before it spiraled out of control: a short, not heavily plot-driven story that’s really just an excuse to write Prussia and Romano having sex.

Lovino woke to a dull ache emanating from several points in his body. Pulling himself up from an awkward teetering position at the edge of the bed, he looked over his shoulder to see Gilbert, still fast asleep and hugging the other pillow. His stomach sank.

He threw on some fresh clothes and left the bedroom quickly, stumbling around the apartment till he found his phone stuck in the pocket of the jacket he’d left in the living room the night before. Didn’t Gilbert know basic one-night-stand etiquette? He was the one who was supposed to sneak out so they could avoid all the shameful morning-after bullshit. This was already more than Lovino was prepared to deal with, and there was only one person that he wasn’t too embarrassed to call in this situation.

“Pronto!”

“Feli, I need your help,” Lovino said. “There’s a guy in my bed.”

“Why is there a guy in your bed?”

“I don’t know, he just sort of fell through the ceiling. I slept with him, what do you think?”

“Oh,” Feliciano laughed. “Good for you!”

“No! Not good! He was supposed to fucking leave, but he’s still here!”

“Is he asleep?”

He peaked back into the bedroom. Gilbert was still buried under the covers and hugging the pillow, tuffs of platinum hair sticking out in odd directions. He hadn’t moved an inch. “He’s out like a light.”

“Did you try waking him up?”

Lovino paused. Though he wanted to limit any interaction with Gilbert as much as possible, the fastest way to get him out would be, naturally, waking him up. Otherwise, he’d just have to sit around and wait, unable to even leave the apartment with any peace of mind while a stranger was lounging about.

“Can’t you come and kick him out for me?” he pleaded.

“I have school in a little bit, so not really. Plus, I don’t want to. Good luck, though!”

“Ugh, fine! You’re useless. I’ll call you again later. Ciao.”

He hung up and put his phone in his pocket. No sense in putting it off longer. He went back into the bedroom and stopped at Gilbert’s side of the bed. Eyes closed, his blond lashes fluttered softly as if he would wake up soon, but the rest of him stayed motionless. A bit of drool fell from his gaping mouth onto the pillow.

Lovino yanked the pillow out from under him and smacked his shoulder with it. His eyes flew open and darted around, confused. When he saw Lovino standing over him, he broke out in a bright, sleepy smile. “Guten Morgen, Schöner.”

Lovino shoved past the sweet talk. “Get out of my apartment. Do you have any idea what time it is?”

He held his cell phone up to Gilbert’s face to show him the current time. Gilbert stared at the phone, eyes wide. He got out of bed and grabbed his pants from off the floor. Lovino breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Gilbert sat down on the edge of the bed, taking out his own phone from the pocket of his khakis to show it to Lovino. “Telephone.”

“Yes, Gilbert, telephone,” he snarked.

“Telephone my brother.”

Lovino raised an eyebrow. “You need to _call_ your brother?”

“Zi.”

“Who the hell calls their brother first thing after a one-night stand?” Upon realizing that he’d done just that, he clicked his tongue and shook his head furiously. “Go ahead and call your brother, then.”

Gilbert let the phone slide out of his hand and hit the bed with a soft plop. “Leer.”

Lovino groaned. “Goddammit. Okay, take my phone.”

He shoved his phone into Gilbert’s hand and marched out of the room. It was too uncomfortable to stand there while Gilbert dressed to leave, so he distracted himself by making a pot of coffee and preparing something light to eat. As he was doing so, he briefly wondered if he should offer Gilbert something, since that was the hospitable thing to do. And then he felt like smashing his coffee mug on the floor, because this was exactly the kind of shit he’d been wanting to avoid!

Gilbert came out of the bedroom only a few moments later, fully dressed, and handed Lovino a piece of paper. It read _Kali und Salz_ with a street address underneath.

“Is this where your brother is?”

“Ja,” Gilbert said.

“Okay.”

He offered the paper back to Gilbert, and he slowly took it. And then he stood there.

“Why are you still here?”

Gilbert stared blankly.

“Oh my fucking God.” He marched to the front door and threw it open, motioning for Gilbert to leave. Reluctantly, Gilbert stepped outside, and then stopped.

“Where…?”

“Where _what_?” Lovino snapped, his patience running so thin it was transparent. Gilbert searched around the hallway as if he was a kid lost in a supermarket. He refrained from moving in any sure direction. Lovino stared at him, hard. “You…you have no fucking clue where you are, do you?”

Gilbert maintained a neutral but vaguely bemused expression.

“You waltz around here speaking a language no one else can understand, and you go home with a stranger you can’t communicate with and let yourself get lost in a foreign country you don’t fucking know? How do you even live?” He covered his face with his hands. “You can’t even use Google Maps because you let your phone die, like a moron. God is punishing me.”

He looked up to see Gilbert smiling at him.

“You fucking quit that.”

 

* * *

 

The address took them to the business district, about a thirty-minute drive away, so the two of them ended up getting a taxi. In the back of Lovino’s mind, he knew there were ways he could have gotten out of going if he tried, but he was worried that something would happen unless he personally saw to it that Gilbert found his brother. Tourists were natural prey to the multitude of assholes lurking the streets. Dumb tourists like Gilbert didn’t stand a chance.

Gilbert seemed perfectly happy to have Lovino with him. He gazed out the window at the passing buildings and excitedly prodded Lovino to show him the ones that were of particular interest. No matter how many times Lovino tried to communicate to him that, yes, he’d seen it, _he lived here_.

They stopped in front of one of many tall glass office buildings in the EUR. Clumps of people walked around in neatly pressed business suits and carrying briefcases. A bulky, pale blond man with glasses stood near the curb just a few meters ahead of them, staring down the street. Gilbert jumped out of the taxi and waved to him.

“Bruder!”   

The large man’s expression hardened the moment his eyes landed on Gilbert. He began speaking in very loud, fast German, which made Lovino’s skin prickle, though Gilbert seemed entirely unaffected. He walked up and slung an arm over his brother’s much taller shoulders, laughing off the scolding words.

Lovino jutted his thumb at Gilbert, addressing the brother. “Does this belong to you?”

“Oh,” the brother nodded, turning his attention to Lovino. “Yes. Sorry, I understand that you offered my brother safe lodgings for the night? I apologize if he inconvenienced you in any way.”

“No, it’s…fine,” Lovino stumbled, taken aback by the man’s perfect Italian. He studied him closer, from his slicked back hair to his expensive attire and wingtip shoes. His professional appearance seemed natural, given where they were, but now that Lovino thought about it, didn’t make much sense for a vacation. “You’re not tourists, are you?”

“No, afraid not,” Gilbert’s brother lamented. “My company, _Kali und Salz_ , transferred myself and a few other management level employees from Kassel to their location here in Rome on a temporary assignment.”

That answered quite a few questions that Lovino would have never been able to get Gilbert to answer. There’s no way in hell he would know the Italian phrase for _intra-company transfer_.

“Why is it that your Italian is so much better than _his_?” Lovino asked, gesturing again to Gilbert, who shot him an oblivious smile in return. “It’s a miracle he hasn’t gotten himself lost and mugged yet.”

“Well, I was pretty familiar with Italian before I was given the assignment, all I had to do was brush up on the language. My brother isn’t a member of the company, he just decided to tag along. And he was _going_ to learn Italian…at least, he said he was going to...” He sighed. “Again, I’m very sorry for the trouble.”

“Yeah, well, he’s just lucky I’m so nice and hospitable.”

Gilbert poked his brother’s arm, whispering something that Lovino couldn’t understand. The brother looked at him with confusion.

“Hey,” Lovino interrupted, “what are you two whispering about?”

“Oh, Gilbert’s asking me to translate something for you, but I don’t…” His eyes focused on Lovino. “How was it that my brother ended up staying with you?”

“We met while at a bar last night. He harassed me.” Gilbert talked fast to his brother, while the brother’s eyes darted between the other two. Lovino glared at them both. “Don’t you know it’s rude to talk in another language around someone who doesn’t speak it, assholes?”

“I don’t really understand what he’s trying to say. Something about last night…what did you two…?”

“Nothing happened,” he said quickly.

“We had very hot sex.” Gilbert flashed a big, stupid smile. Lovino choked.

“Why do you know how to say _that_ in Italian!”

Gilbert’s brother was now bright red in the face. “I… It’s fine. You don’t have to explain anything more to me.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

He fidgeted with his tie and looked to the side. “Well…thank you again. Good bye.”

“Ludwig, augenblick!” Gilbert shouted. He jumped at Ludwig and began searching through his pockets. “Stift Stift Stift…”

“Gilbert, what are you—!”

Once he’d found a pen, he took out the same paper that he’d written the company’s address on and began scribbling.

Ludwig looked over his shoulder to see what he was writing. “What in the world…oh.” He rolled his eyes and stepped away.

He pushed the paper into Lovino’s hand when he finished, shooting him a wink. “Ciao, Schatz.”

“The fuck?”

The German brothers merged with the crowd of people flowing along the sidewalk and disappeared. Lovino glanced at the paper in his hand, and his heart jumped when he realized that Gilbert had given him his number.

“Wait a minute,” he said aloud, focusing on the first three digits. Zero-three-zero. A German area code. He’d given Lovino the _German_ number to his _German_ cellphone. “If that bastard thinks I’m gonna pay extra just to hear his stupid unintelligible voice, he’s got another thing coming!” He crumpled up the paper, stuffing it in his pocket with a huff, and started down the street to find another taxi.

 

* * *

 

“Is the guy gone?” Feli asked.

“Yup.” Lovino returned to his quiet, empty living room, holding the phone up to his ear with his shoulder as he closed and locked the front door behind him. “He’s gone.”

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad everything got taken care of. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about dinner next week.”

Damn, he’d almost forgotten about that. “Yeah, just come over to my apartment and I’ll be there when I get off work. Unless you’re expecting me to cook.”

“I thought we could cook together.” His tone was far too cheerful for the words he was saying. It was always a disaster anytime they tried to cook together. Lovino sighed.

“Fine, text me later so I can buy some stuff.”

After he got off the phone, he looked through his fridge and pantry, making a mental file of what he had on hand, so he would know what he would need to buy later. He made lunch and cleaned up afterwards, thankful for something to do to keep himself occupied. He hardly thought about Gilbert, or the fact that he had his number in his pocket, and that was a good thing. He didn’t need to think about it. Gilbert was a one-time thing, and that was the way he should stay.

The rest of the day he spent relaxing, watching a little TV. He made dinner for himself, and soon the hours slipped by until it was time to go to sleep. The moment his head landed on the pillow as he was about to go to sleep, and not a second before, Lovino realized what he’d forgotten to do. The pungent scent lingering on the sheets— another man's smell, a _stranger's_ smell, his sweat, his cum, as well as Lovino's—hit his nostrils like a fist.

The first whiff made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. The second one was tolerable. The third one was...reminiscent.  

With every inhale, he thought about Gilbert. When he was in bed with him. Kissing him. Gripping him. Fucking him _so good_.

Lovino hesitated, not for long, and then seized his phone from the nightstand. How much was a few extra cents, really? The light blinded him when he unlocked it, and made it impossible to do anything until his eyes adjusted. As he squinted through blurry slits, he remembered that Gilbert’s number was not in his phone. It was scrawled on a tiny piece of paper that was still in his pants pocket.

Which was going to win, his laziness or his horniness?

After a few moments of consideration, he crawled out of bed, dug through his pants until he found Gilbert’s number, and flopped back into bed. He grumbled a little to himself all the while, but as soon as he’d gotten comfortable underneath the covers again, and before he had another second to decide that this was not a good idea, he dialed the number. He pressed the phone to his ear. He waited.

“Hallo?”

His breath caught. This was so stupid. “Hey.”

“ _Ohh_.” Gilbert chuckled once he recognized the voice. “Hey, baby.”

Lovino cringed. _Stupid stupid stupid_.

Gilbert continued to talk, sprinkling in a bit of Italian and English at first so that Lovino could catch bits of what he was saying. Not that he understood what any of it meant in context. Still, it was relaxing at first to listen to his low, gruff voice without having to focus on the words themselves, just to hear them. But in the dark, private space of his own room, in a bed that still smelled like sex, Lovino felt the pace of his heart quicken. His body was steadily growing hot.

_Why the hell was this turning him on!_

Ah, _shit_. Lovino closed his eyes, giving an occasional grunt to let Gilbert know that he was still on the line and listening even if he wasn’t saying much. His hand roamed, grazing across his stomach and reaching between his legs. He palmed himself softly, experimentally. He couldn’t believe what he was doing, nearly jerking off while on the phone with a man speaking to him in German. It was ridiculous. And it was risky. If he made any sound at all, Gilbert might be able to tell what was going on.

He was fully hard in an instant.

There was no stopping anymore. It was getting too painful to resist. He licked the palm of his hand, then wrapped that hand around his cock and started stroking. The old scent of sex filled his nostrils, Gilbert’s voice filled his head, and Lovino’s imagination made up for the rest. Gilbert on top of him, grabbing him roughly, pressing him into the bed. Mouthing quick commands in a language that he’d thought for sure he’d always hated, that he couldn’t understand, but that he inexplicably wanted to listen to.

Hot lust coiled inside him, and his hand moved faster. It felt so good. He bit his lip to try and suffocate the noise that rose in his throat, but it was too late.

“ _Oh_ ,” he gasped.

The line went quiet.

“Was machst Du?”

“Um…”

“Du bist so süß,” Gilbert chuckled. Lovino felt his face flush at the sound. “Ich will dich so sehr…”

His voice grew softer and lost a bit of the harsh edge, but his sultry tone made up for it indefinitely. God, it was so hot. Lovino laid still and silent, in torment, not sure what to do.

“Continue.”

The heat in his face bumped up to a thousand degrees. Gilbert knew exactly what he was doing, and he was perfectly fine with it. He wanted to listen to him.

“Shit…” Lovino mumbled. “This…this is super fucking embarrassing, so just…just keep talking. It’s too quiet right now. Keep talking so I can distract myself.”

“Oh? Du willst mich sprechen hören?”

Gilbert seemed to get the message. He continued in that low, sexy voice, and Lovino closed his eyes to listen. His hand moved again. His thoughts returned to fantasizing that Gilbert was there with him. He imagined himself with swollen lips from kisses and maybe even having a cock in his mouth. Skin red with passion and a few bite marks. He kept his voice to a soft whine so that it slipped under the sound of Gilbert’s voice.

He let his phone rest pillow beside his ear so that he could incorporate both hands into his fantasy. One focused on his pulsing erection, one reaching towards his ass, slowly working one, then two fingers inside. Once he got three fingers inside, he could pretend it was someone else’s cock inside him. A pleasant shiver ran through his body at the thought.  

“Genau so…” Gilbert went on, his voice growing raspy. “Ich wette, Du wüßtest gerne, was ich sage.”

Gilbert was the last person in his bed. The bed that still smelled like him. It was his voice whispering vulgar words Lovino could not understand into his ear. All those reasons were perfectly good and rational, and, of course, the only reasons why he imagined Gilbert’s hard, muscled body moving against his in the first place. His creativity could only go so far, and there was no point in trying to change the fantasy now. 

Fingers—Gilbert’s, as he imagines—trailed up his side, across his chest, to his lips. Lovino opened his mouth to let them inside. He sucked on them eagerly. After a minute, those same fingers trailed back down between his legs. Lovino imagined Gilbert violently shoving his legs apart, exposing his naked, quivering body before violating him.

What were actually his own fingers slowly pushed inside. Lovino whimpered out loud.

Gilbert let out a strangled sound on the other end of the phone, and it made Lovino realize that he hadn’t been talking for some time.

“ _Gilbert_.”

What was supposed to be an annoyed reprimand came out as a needy plea. Gilbert became a moaning, breathy mess. “Mein Gott, Lovino.”

Imaginary Gilbert was still fucking him open and driving him over the edge. Pulling his hips up, fingers digging into his soft skin, kneading his ass. Lovino’s fingers struck his prostrate, but in his mind it was Gilbert’s large cock pressing in. Deeper. _Oh god, deeper._

“Fuck, _yes_ ,” Lovino moaned. He rolled his hips upward as he came, pumping his cock harder in his release, spilling into his hand.

The high started to dip, and the embarrassment hit him full force. He hung up the phone, tossed it across the bed, and buried his head under the covers. His heart still pounded in his ears, but everything around him was dark and still.

He couldn’t detect the smell from before now that he’d gotten used to it, and with his energy spent, his eyes flitted closed. Now, once and for all, Gilbert was out of his system. In the morning he would wash his sheets, and forget that any of this had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations. (Like last time, some of them you all probably know, just bear with me.)
> 
> Pronto- How to answer the phone if you're Italian  
> Guten Morgen, Schöner.- Good morning, handsome/beautiful.  
> Leer- Literally means “empty”, used here in reference to phone battery.  
> Bruder- Brother  
> Augenblick- Just a minute  
> Stift- Pen  
> Ciao, Schatz- Goodbye in Italian, plus darling/love/insert mushy pet name here in German  
> Was machst Du?- What are you doing?  
> Du bist so süß.- You’re so cute/sweet.  
> Ich will dich so sehr.- I want you so much.  
> Du willst mich sprechen hören?- You want to hear me talk?  
> Genau so.- That’s right.  
> Ich wette, Du wüßtest gerne, was ich sage.- I bet you wish you knew what I was saying.  
> Mein Gott- My god


End file.
